What You’ve Already Taught Me

We’re 21 days from your due date. People keep asking us if we’re ready. Nothing about our house is ready. Your nursery is being painted right now. The crib is in the garage. No clothes have been hung. Your carseat is still in the box.

But I don’t feel unprepared. I know there will be a steep learning curve when you arrive, but I don’t feel unprepared. Here’s what you’ve already taught me.

9 months ago I was really wishing to have you. Waiting for you has taught me that peace is possible when things are uncertain. Waiting taught me to slow down, be present, be grateful and to choose prayer over fear. Waiting taught me that I really want to be your mom. That I’m willing to give up a lot to give you what you need.

8 months ago I was holding the news that you were in me. As I shared the news with your dad it taught me the worth of waiting ‘till we both felt ready. He was excited and helpful and ready to be your dad.

6 months ago I was tired and nauseous. I learned that complaining never made me feel better. Sleep did. Waffles did. Watching tv with friends and refusing to make a to do list did.

5 months ago your dad and I travelled to Australia. I remembered how much he is my favorite person to spend time with. He took us on grand adventures–you swam with a shark, ate ice cream every night, and saw the most beautiful of places.

3 months ago we spent lots of time with your family. I learned that I can’t always be the one to organize and help make things happen, but that they couldn’t be more excited to meet you, love you and help you grow into a great human.

2 months ago I couldn’t believe how close we were. Nothing was decided, so many things were unsettled, there were rooms in your home that didn’t have walls. You were unnamed (you still are actually). All we owned was a crib. I chose to turn off the TV and music to think about you. I learned the drive home from work was important. Some days at work are stressful and I want to arrive home to see you having already talked it out with Jesus.

This past Sunday I cried and cried because I was so happy. You are coming so soon and I can’t wait to meet you. You have a family that loves you. A church that adores your unnamed self. Your house is still a wreck. Future you would get in trouble if you left out this many dishes. But your home is ready. You have people who love you and who will help you. I know this because they’ve helped me.

This is what being your mom has already taught me.

So we’re ready. I’ll see you soon!